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dchenesEverybody who has to be up early can ignore this...
Last night I found out that this morning I had a project management meeting at 8:30. Left to my own devices, which my current schedule does, I go to bed around 1:30 and don't generally wake up until 9:00. So I fell back on high-octane coffee. It's amazing how familiar that felt; resentment combined with resignation combined with still-sleepy-dammit-go-away combined with don't-want-coffee-but-gotta-be-up-so-what-else-is-there.
So now it's 11:00 and I'm still dragging. I don't want to be dragging, and I don't want to be artificially (as in caffeinatedly) awake. It seems that when I wake up to an alarm, those are the only kinds of awake I get. I get used to it after a while, but I'm not used to it any more, and today it bothers me.
I wonder, if I get a job I actually like going to, whether that will change? I've never had a job that didn't get me thinking "oh, hell, I'm up when I don't want to be because I have to go THERE again today, don't I?" How much of my resentment is connected to what I have to get up for, and how much is connected to my being a night person in general?
Last night I found out that this morning I had a project management meeting at 8:30. Left to my own devices, which my current schedule does, I go to bed around 1:30 and don't generally wake up until 9:00. So I fell back on high-octane coffee. It's amazing how familiar that felt; resentment combined with resignation combined with still-sleepy-dammit-go-away combined with don't-want-coffee-but-gotta-be-up-so-what-else-is-there.
So now it's 11:00 and I'm still dragging. I don't want to be dragging, and I don't want to be artificially (as in caffeinatedly) awake. It seems that when I wake up to an alarm, those are the only kinds of awake I get. I get used to it after a while, but I'm not used to it any more, and today it bothers me.
I wonder, if I get a job I actually like going to, whether that will change? I've never had a job that didn't get me thinking "oh, hell, I'm up when I don't want to be because I have to go THERE again today, don't I?" How much of my resentment is connected to what I have to get up for, and how much is connected to my being a night person in general?
