things I want explained

Would somebody please explain to my brain that it induced my body to eat a pound of chocolate-covered almonds over the course of last week, and therefore my body really doesn't need any more chocolate-covered almonds for the next couple of months?

And would somebody please explain to my landlady that 9:30 on Sunday night is not the best time to call me and demand that I do something about the smell in the hallway (which, as usual, I can't tell is there)? I'm getting tired of apologizing for something she won't prove is my fault, only because I can't prove it isn't.

Grumble.