(no subject)

My upbringing is arguing with the fact that I've got enough money to play with. I can maybe excuse having two pairs of the same leather sandals in different colors, because they're ridiculously comfortable and also appropriate for work. But it still feels like profligacy, somehow. One pair of Tevas and one pair of decent sandals is plenty, according to the means in which I'm used to living. A couple of years ago I got into a huge argument with myself about whether having three pairs of extant jeans at the same time was overdoing it; one on the bod and one in the laundry was perfectly fine, right? (That was before we were allowed to wear jeans to work on Fridays all year round, so I only wore them after work and on weekends.)

I guess it all comes back to self-image. I don't like my body all that much, so why would I bother spending a lot of money on decorating it if it feels like putting lipstick on a pig? On the other hand I don't have much problem with going out and spending a lot of money on food, because I eat too much because as long as I don't like my body anyway, what does it matter, and the eating too much doesn't make the body any better, and it all goes around in a vicious cycle until I break out of it a little and decide there's nothing wrong with spending money on self-decoration once in a while.