more thoughts on moving
Jun. 23rd, 2006 09:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dchenesI'm not entirely sure I don't want to move just because I want something different. I've sort of been in limbo since I got back here last summer, and I may be in a different level of it now, but it's still limbo.
And as much as I want something different, and as much as I liked the place I saw yesterday and the guy who owns it, I think the commute from Somerville would make me very unhappy in fairly short order.
So, if I'm not going to move this year, what am I going to do for myself by way of change, to make living here for another year not a bad idea? I've already cut most of my hair off and dyed it, so that's out. Another tattoo, even though I promised myself one after grad school, is in the same category of "money I can't bring myself to spend" as an iPod was.
I keep wishing for things I can't have, like the negotiating power to stay here and either get a cat or knock my rent down substantially. Neither of which is going to happen, and I know it, but I keep thinking eventually something in my life has got to be about what I want, and not what other people want or what I can afford.
Damn it, I don't know what I want, and when I do know what I want I don't know why I want it.
And as much as I want something different, and as much as I liked the place I saw yesterday and the guy who owns it, I think the commute from Somerville would make me very unhappy in fairly short order.
So, if I'm not going to move this year, what am I going to do for myself by way of change, to make living here for another year not a bad idea? I've already cut most of my hair off and dyed it, so that's out. Another tattoo, even though I promised myself one after grad school, is in the same category of "money I can't bring myself to spend" as an iPod was.
I keep wishing for things I can't have, like the negotiating power to stay here and either get a cat or knock my rent down substantially. Neither of which is going to happen, and I know it, but I keep thinking eventually something in my life has got to be about what I want, and not what other people want or what I can afford.
Damn it, I don't know what I want, and when I do know what I want I don't know why I want it.
