things, and stuff
Oct. 21st, 2002 10:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dchenesThis weekend was somewhat hectic. Friday night I came home, made soup (which took a couple of hours or so, but it was good soup the next day), and did dishes. Saturday morning we ran around and set up for the party, which was Saturday afternoon/evening and was a lot of fun. I think I definitely need to own Apples to Apples one of these days. Maybe even before Thanksgiving; it could be a lot of fun to play with my family.
Yesterday, I did five loads of laundry. That's it for productivity, unless you count starting at Z on the alphabet part of my current cross stitch project and getting up to U. Since I'm working from the bottom up, I had to start at the end of the alphabet.
I also tried (for five hours) to download an X11 driver for Mac OS X over a 56K modem, which of course got 95% done before my modem disconnected. I downloaded it at work in fifteen minutes. I just hope the Mac will read a CD created with Windows 2000. All this in aid of getting a word processor that reads the writing I did on my old Mac in MS Word...oh well. At least there are alternatives.
I've rediscovered that not only is it perfectly possible to be lonely while not being alone, it also makes it worse for me to be lonely and around people at the same time. There are times when I just want to be left alone to work through it, and being forced to be social doesn't help at all, but it's not really the kind of thing I can explain. If I tried to explain it, I suspect it would come out sounding like "No thanks, I'm being miserable right now", which of course makes people want to cheer me up, which isn't what I want. I don't know if it's what I need, but it definitely isn't what I want.
Human nature is odd stuff.
Yesterday, I did five loads of laundry. That's it for productivity, unless you count starting at Z on the alphabet part of my current cross stitch project and getting up to U. Since I'm working from the bottom up, I had to start at the end of the alphabet.
I also tried (for five hours) to download an X11 driver for Mac OS X over a 56K modem, which of course got 95% done before my modem disconnected. I downloaded it at work in fifteen minutes. I just hope the Mac will read a CD created with Windows 2000. All this in aid of getting a word processor that reads the writing I did on my old Mac in MS Word...oh well. At least there are alternatives.
I've rediscovered that not only is it perfectly possible to be lonely while not being alone, it also makes it worse for me to be lonely and around people at the same time. There are times when I just want to be left alone to work through it, and being forced to be social doesn't help at all, but it's not really the kind of thing I can explain. If I tried to explain it, I suspect it would come out sounding like "No thanks, I'm being miserable right now", which of course makes people want to cheer me up, which isn't what I want. I don't know if it's what I need, but it definitely isn't what I want.
Human nature is odd stuff.
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I don't think it's odd.
Date: 2002-10-21 09:06 am (UTC)I understand exactly what you mean though. Sometimes you just need to be alone. The "Mars and Venus" book (An atrocity if I ever read one) calls it "Going into your cave."
Most people have a "Social" tolerance. There's a ballance between being alone and being around people, and for each person it's different. I've known people who couldn't handle more than 20 minutes with another human being in a week.
I kind of guessed you were reaching a social saturation point when you went to the kitchen to work on baked goods instead of spending time in the party you'd worked so hard to put together. While there are people who just can't fathom having a "keep the people away" moment, I am not one of them. It's unfortunate that we don't have a socially acceptable of expressing something that most people feel. I guess the pressure to be social and part of society drowns out the desire to be true to ourselves and really do what we want.