(no subject)

I refuse to join Twitter, and have since before it was the Cheeto in Charge's favorite mode of communication. However, I am enjoying the G&S parodies on Twitter lately. But they're all Major-General Stanley, and my brain went to King Gama instead and wouldn't let go of the idea until I wrote this:

If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am:
I’m a genuine philanderer – all other kinds are sham.
All women are my playthings, for I’ve power and my hair
Is all mine and always has been, and I don’t know why you care.
To all their little weaknesses I open Pyongyang’s eyes;
And little plans to use the big red button I devise;
I love myself exclusively, all other loves I ban,
Yet everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man!
And I can’t think why!

Of compliments inflated I’m deserving as can be,
And vanity is foremost of the traits that define me.
A charitable action I have never done before;
And those who ask for charity are swiftly shown the door.
I have massive income sources and ten dozen golden urns,
And no citizen has ever seen my income tax returns;
To benefit myself and heirs no matter how I plan,
Yet everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man,
And I can’t think why!

I’m sure I’m no ascetic; I’m as pleasant as can be;
You’ll always find me ready with a meal from Mickey D,
I’m a very stable genius, I’ve a celebrated brain,
I’m the best and greatest leader and I’ve family in my train.
My sons and sons-in-law are losers, but what can I do?
I’m spending all my time watching Fox News and other spew.
But although I try to be just as important as I can,
Yet everybody says I’m such a disagreeable man!
And I can’t think why!