internal dialogue

[dchenes]

Commencing at lunchtime, this is what's been going on in my head in some form or another today:


"It's Sunday, and you don't have anything to eat for breakfast tomorrow."

"Well, damn. Can't I do without?"

"No, you can't; if you don't eat breakfast on a work day, you get hungry and grumpy at about 10:30. You know that. And you can't afford it for the next two weeks."

"Oh, all right. I'll go to Whole Paycheck and get yogurt."

"After the laundry is dry."

"Right, after the laundry is dry. Which is 2:45 or so, so I can finish this section of embroidery first."

...

"So, it's 2:45; go get the laundry."

"Right. Laundry." (laundry is fetched) "You know, that hurt. Why did that hurt?"

"Don't ask me. Remember, you've got to go get yogurt. And see if they sell postage stamps; you've got bills to mail tomorrow."

"Yeah, but I hurt. In all sorts of places, actually. Why the hell do my ribs hurt? So I think I'll just lie down for half an hour and see if that helps."

(half an hour later)

"OK, I feel better. In fact, I'm starving. I can't go to Whole Paycheck when I'm starving."

"True enough, and you never did have any lunch. Eat something."

"Like what? I don't know what I want."

"Like leftover chicken sausages."

"But I don't want leftover chicken sausages!"

"That's what there is. Eat them anyway."

(consumption of sausages ensues)

"OK, so now I've eaten something, but the sore ribs are back again."

"Oh, good grief. Take some Advil, and GO GET YOGURT and maybe postage stamps, and by the time you get back your ribs will probably be better."

"Yeah, but that means I have to put on a different set of clothes, too, and I don't wanna. And besides, now it's 4:30, and I want a nap."

"Look, idiot, you still don't have any yogurt, or any postage stamps, and you haven't had enough liquid today either, which is why you want a nap. So go get your hat and pants on, and you can get any liquid you want, and YOGURT, which is the whole point of the exercise in the first place, and you don't walk with your ribs, so it doesn't matter if they hurt. Now GIT!"

"But..."

"NO."


I think I need a vacation. And I still haven't gone out to get yogurt. Or liquid. Or postage stamps.

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