(no subject)

I forgot how much I hate dealing with apartment brokers.

I just got off the phone with one who, when I asked about the "cats OK" listing, told me that getting a cat was like having bad credit, and nobody anywhere would rent to me at all if I did. Then he proceeded to tell me that he wasn't going to waste (in order) his time, my time or his gas money showing me an apartment if I wasn't going to bring my checkbook and write him a check for first, last and $500 "cleaning fee" on the spot. At which point I said "You know what? Forget it."

I HATE dealing with apartment brokers.

more thoughts on moving

I'm not entirely sure I don't want to move just because I want something different. I've sort of been in limbo since I got back here last summer, and I may be in a different level of it now, but it's still limbo.

And as much as I want something different, and as much as I liked the place I saw yesterday and the guy who owns it, I think the commute from Somerville would make me very unhappy in fairly short order.

So, if I'm not going to move this year, what am I going to do for myself by way of change, to make living here for another year not a bad idea? I've already cut most of my hair off and dyed it, so that's out. Another tattoo, even though I promised myself one after grad school, is in the same category of "money I can't bring myself to spend" as an iPod was.

I keep wishing for things I can't have, like the negotiating power to stay here and either get a cat or knock my rent down substantially. Neither of which is going to happen, and I know it, but I keep thinking eventually something in my life has got to be about what I want, and not what other people want or what I can afford.

Damn it, I don't know what I want, and when I do know what I want I don't know why I want it.