more thoughts on moving

[dchenes]

I'm not entirely sure I don't want to move just because I want something different. I've sort of been in limbo since I got back here last summer, and I may be in a different level of it now, but it's still limbo.

And as much as I want something different, and as much as I liked the place I saw yesterday and the guy who owns it, I think the commute from Somerville would make me very unhappy in fairly short order.

So, if I'm not going to move this year, what am I going to do for myself by way of change, to make living here for another year not a bad idea? I've already cut most of my hair off and dyed it, so that's out. Another tattoo, even though I promised myself one after grad school, is in the same category of "money I can't bring myself to spend" as an iPod was.

I keep wishing for things I can't have, like the negotiating power to stay here and either get a cat or knock my rent down substantially. Neither of which is going to happen, and I know it, but I keep thinking eventually something in my life has got to be about what I want, and not what other people want or what I can afford.

Damn it, I don't know what I want, and when I do know what I want I don't know why I want it.

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[dchenes.livejournal.com]

The iPod was taken care of; I was on the phone with my sister three weeks ago and we got talking about iPods and my lack of one, and she gave me one for my birthday when we saw each other at my grandparents' anniversary party.